just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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