Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
