kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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