For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
