I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
