But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
