escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
