Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
