well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
