So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
