Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
