So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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