he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
