3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
