If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize