this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We are all done wearing pants today
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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