I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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