Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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