I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
