I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
