The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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