Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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