is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
