I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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