just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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