I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
