im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
