i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
