Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
