Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
