Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
