well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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