I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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