There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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