You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
