I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
