wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
