More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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