At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
