Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
