Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
