I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
