Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
