Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
