I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
