Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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