last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
