ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
