Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
