my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize