He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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